"It may be that there are saints who are always at their best, and are happy enough never to lose the light of their Father's countenance. I am not sure that there are such persons... and I have not traversed that happy land. Every year of my life has had a winter as well as a summer, and every day its night... I confess that though the substance be in us, as in the teil-tree and the oak, yet we do lose our leaves, and the sap with us does not flow with equal vigor at all seasons."
Charles Spurgeon
***
I have a lot of "off" moments. Moments when I allow the enemy to invade my mind and sow dark thoughts about myself, about my relationships with others, and about my relationship with God. Moments when I feel very far away from God or from what God wants me to be. Moments when I'm more ashamed of than in love with Jesus. Moments when I feel like I don't have it together, when I can't quite understand my faith let alone defend it. Moments when I fail to claim the joy that God graciously offers or when I unfairly accuse Him of withholding things from me. I would keep going but you get the gist right?
But I don't think God is focusing on my off moments as much as I am. He doesn't tire of my whining, my complaining, my fighting and resisting Him, my being stubborn and unkind and snotty. Heh... In fact, I think He fights for me. He whoops the enemy's a** when the dude's trying to feed me evil thoughts. He assures me and comforts me when I feel as though I'm not good enough. He still loves me and courts me even when I'm entertaining other "lovers"... He wants me back and He wants be back badly. :) He's patient and understanding and He will never give up on me. Neither will He let me give up just because of said off moments.
When I decided to follow Jesus, I was not promised an easy and off-moment-less life. So I don't expect one. But I do expect a fulfilling life, one with nights and days and winters and summers WITH my Jesus.
My, how lovely that sounds. :)
~L.
Charles Spurgeon
***
I have a lot of "off" moments. Moments when I allow the enemy to invade my mind and sow dark thoughts about myself, about my relationships with others, and about my relationship with God. Moments when I feel very far away from God or from what God wants me to be. Moments when I'm more ashamed of than in love with Jesus. Moments when I feel like I don't have it together, when I can't quite understand my faith let alone defend it. Moments when I fail to claim the joy that God graciously offers or when I unfairly accuse Him of withholding things from me. I would keep going but you get the gist right?
But I don't think God is focusing on my off moments as much as I am. He doesn't tire of my whining, my complaining, my fighting and resisting Him, my being stubborn and unkind and snotty. Heh... In fact, I think He fights for me. He whoops the enemy's a** when the dude's trying to feed me evil thoughts. He assures me and comforts me when I feel as though I'm not good enough. He still loves me and courts me even when I'm entertaining other "lovers"... He wants me back and He wants be back badly. :) He's patient and understanding and He will never give up on me. Neither will He let me give up just because of said off moments.
When I decided to follow Jesus, I was not promised an easy and off-moment-less life. So I don't expect one. But I do expect a fulfilling life, one with nights and days and winters and summers WITH my Jesus.
My, how lovely that sounds. :)
~L.
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